Your stay at Camp Gimmiyabeeya will be a unique experience. Like any other camp, however, what you bring with you may have significant effects on the quality of your experience. The following list was culled from our staff members' years of experience with lack of preparation, and the consequences thereof.
Campfire - Nightly from dusk to about 2AM, rain or shine (moonshine that is), open enrollment
Enjoy the company of other campers as they joke, tell stories, sing songs, and slowly drink themselves to oblivion.
Canoeing - Daily, weather permitting, equipment reservation necessary
Glide through the pristine waters of Sokokis Lake in a glistening Grumman® canoe (seating for three). Lost paddle charges may apply.
Card & Board Games - Daily, equipment reservation may be required
Whether it's because there's nothing else to do due to weather, or you just feel like a nice friendly game of asshole, cards and a limited number of board games should be available.
Lake Tours - Daily, weather permitting, equipment reservation necessary
Cruise around picturesque Sokokis Lake with a qualified guide and captain in a low-slung powerboat with seating for five (5) passengers.
Movies - As desired, equipment reservation necessary
For those nights when the bugs are just too much, or the sun has you half-baked, a television with a VHS VCR is available for use. Movie selection is limited.
Off-Road Adventures - By appointment, guided
See the verdant backwoods of the local landscape from the back of a genuine Jeep Wrangler®, or if you want to bring your own rig out to get dirty and/or broken that's fine too (subject to equipment inspection). Seating is limited, so signup early!
Swimming - Daily, weather permitting, from about 10AM to about 2AM, open enrollment, clothing optional after 10PM, NO LIFEGUARD ON DUTY
Let the silky waters of the ever-sublime Sokokis Lake swirl away your tension as you bob merrily on one of the many personal floats* available, or for the more athletically minded, go for a quick dash out to Rock Island, around the bend to the rope swing, or even across the lake for a nice lunch!
* Personal floats are not personal floatation devices, and are not recommended for floatation usage outside the confines of the purely theoretical.
Sunbathing - Daily from about 11AM to dusk, weather permitting, open enrollment
Strip down (whoa! Not that far down), lather up (waaay up), don those shades and hit the beach. It's all about getting that tan just right, and at Camp Gimmiyabeeya, we don't compromise a bit.
Tubing & Water-skiing - Daily, weather permitting, equipment reservation required
Grab that rope and hang on! Our experienced drivers will toss your ass all over the lake if you're tubing, or give you a nice steady run if you're skiing, unless we don't like you, in which case you're screwed either way. We might just leave you out there.
Fuzzy Duck
Fuzzy duck is a word game that should be played with a fairly drunk group of people. The group should be arranged in a circle of some sort (campfires work well). One person (it doesn't really matter who, but it's usually Lil-Anne) will start by saying "Fuzzy Duck" to the person to either the left or the right. That person must either say "Fuzzy Duck" to the next person, continuing the direction around the circle, or may instead say "Does He?" at which time the direction of play reverses, and the people must say "Ducky Fuzz" until someone elects to say "Does He?" This continues until someone screws up, at which point they must take a drink. Once they've taken their drink, play resumes where it left off.
The Name Game
This is a game where go around the circle saying the names of famous people, where the first letter of the first name of each person is the same as the first letter of the last name of the previous person. If the name is a single word name (e.g. Madonna), the 'M' counts as both the first name and last name letter, continuing in the same direction. If the name is a 'double', (e.g. Roy Rogers), the direction of play is reversed. When it's your turn, and you're not in the process of saying a name, you're imbibing. Drink while you think, you might say. The name must be sufficiently famous that at least a couple people know what the hell you're talking about. The same name may be used twice if and only if it refers to more than one person (e.g. Freddie Prinze was a comedian, and his son's name is Freddie Prinze Jr., the actor).
One Fat Hen
Since one fat hen is a memory game, writing down the sequence for reference would defeat the purpose. Suffice it to say that people who've played before have a significantly greater chance of coming out of it less drunk than the others. Also, since alcohol impairs short-term memory, the difference between someone playing well, and someone who is not might end up being as easy to spot as the ability to stand up afterwards.
Austin's Joke
Apparently, Austin can only ever remember one joke. As a result, the number of times that most of us have heard this joke is in the hundreds, if not the thousands. It's printed here on the off chance you've never heard it, so that we'll know ahead of time that it's not new to anybody by the time he gets around to telling it.
The National Anthem
Every year on the evening of July 4th, some of us sing the national anthem. It's tradition. Don't screw with it.
The Band
There may or may not be a band present during your stay. If there is, try to keep the jeering to a minimum, and bear with them in general. Chances are, they'll play a couple of songs you can't stand… badly. Get over it, they're working for free.
